Total Eclipse of the Heart
by burtneymac95
Summary: My version of "Tick,Tick,Tick.." and "Boom!" Does Kate Beckett die? And does Castle thinks its all his fault? If she did, what will he do without the one person that changed his life? And will they finally kill the psycho that started it all? Please R/R!
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: Hello all you Castle fans! First time writing a Castle fanfic ever! So be nice if I'm not exactly in their frame of mind. After watching the heart wrenching episode last week (Tick, Tick, Tick....) I really wanted to write a fic based on that. Let me start off by saying that was the best Castle episode EVER! And last nights episode (Boom!) was also amazing and nothing like this story. So I hope you enjoy this and if you like it, please review. Thankks!_**

**_Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with the amaziness that is Castle. The characters and bomb part, all deserve credit from ABC and the creator. _**

*******

Richard Castle was standing at the corner of the street where Kate Beckett's apartment once stood. He couldn't believe what he just witnessed. One minute he was talking to her and then the next…boom! All he could think about was the pain that filled his chest. The sickness he felt that one of his closest friend's just died. Guilt wrenched inside his stomach.

If he wouldn't have created Nikki Heat, Beckett wouldn't have been targeted and everything would be fine. But he also realized that if he wouldn't have created Nikki Heat, he would never have had the pleasure of working with her and getting to know her…and love her? Yes, it was true. Rick Castle was in love with Kate Beckett.

When he stayed at her house the night before, he wanted to show her what it would be like if they were together. He would make her breakfast, sit down, have a conversation with her. And the fact that her and Alexis got along so well was great. He could honestly see himself marrying and starting a family with her. But now, that's all changed. She was dead, and it was all his fault.

"Hey Castle!" Ryan and Esposito yelled across the road.

They ran quickly, waiting for a couple cars to pass. The street was hell. Paramedics, firefighters, and police officers filled the scene. People were running around, scared. And he, he just stood there.

"Castle?" Ryan asked.

Castle snapped out of his train of thought.

"Huh, what?"

"Are you okay?"

He gulped. "Not really."

"Would you mind filling out a witness report?" Esposito responded.

"Ah, not right now okay?"

Castle was completely not himself. He looked like he was doing some serious thinking, and he looked like everything in his world had just came crashing down. He started walking towards the burned down building.

"Hey Castle! Where are you going?"

"Inside."

"Of the apartment? Are you crazy?"

He ignored him as he kept walking closer.

"Castle! They found remains. Just thought you should know."

He turned around.

"Were they…Kate's?" he asked, feeling a tear fall from his eye.

"Their getting an…anthro…anthro.."

"Anthropologist?" Castle filled in the blanks.

"Yeah, that's it."

"I still want to go in there. See whats left. Any belongings that are still in tact."

"We're sorry Castle, but we can't let you do that." someone spoke.

He knew that voice. It was FBI Agent Shaw.

"And why not?" he asked, a little pissed off.

"It's a crime scene. Plus, theres not that much left."

"So..you guys found her body?"

"Yes."

"Can I see her?"

"Her body was very badly burned and all the…flesh was…removed. All that's left…are bones."

He gulped, trying to fight the urge not to ball his eyes out.

"I'm sorry. But this killer is still on the loose. I have to get back to work immediately."

"I want to help."

"You cant. Now that Detective Beckett is…gone, your alliance with the team is over."

"Jordan. Please don't do this. I need to catch this guy. Do you see what hes done?" he asked, pointing to where her apartment stood less then 10 minutes ago.

"Do you see all the pain he has caused? And it's all because of me! If I wouldn't have started Nikki Heat..he wouldn't have done this!"

"Castle. Listen. He would've killed anyway. Just like I told you before. This was just an excuse to kill. If you wouldn't have created Nikki Heat, he would still be crazy, he would still be a killer, and he would still find another way to do this. Don't blame yourself."

He sat down in the middle of the street.

"I was talking to her right before this. I tried telling her that the bomb was in there. But before…she could say anything….the apartment blew up. I didn't…have a chance…to say goodbye." He said in between tears.

Ryan and Esposito watched from the corner. Was Richard Castle actually crying? This was a once in a lifetime scene. They didn't want this to be the reason they first saw Castle crying. It was sad, truly sad. They knew that Castle loved her, and sometimes, it seemed like she loved him. This was not how their love story was supposed to end.

"I didn't get a chance to tell her how I felt."

Shaw sat down beside him, not worrying about getting her skirt dirty.

"And how did you feel?" she asked, trying to comfort him.

"I love her. She was the most amazing woman I have ever met. She…changed me so much. She's funny and sweet and caring and….she's just perfect. I loved it when we bickered. I loved when people would crack jokes about us being together. It may have annoyed her but….I think I annoyed her. And if I had the chance of being with her and not get on her nerves, I would do it."

She placed her hand on his.

"Did anyone call her dad?" he asked.

"I don't…I don't think so."

He stood up, taking out his phone.

"Excuse me."

He walked down the street, dialing her fathers number.

"Hello?" a man answered, sounding half asleep.

"Mr. Beckett?" he asked nervously.

This wasn't how the first time he talked to Kate's father was supposed to happen.

"Yes this is him. Who is this?"

"Um, this is Richard Castle. I worked with your daughter, Kate."

"Oh yes, Castle. I've heard a lot about you. You calling to finally ask permission to be with my daughter?"

_"What? Does this mean she talked about me? Wow. I don't know what to say. Oh right." _

"Um, not exactly sir."

"Whats going on then?"

He took a deep breath and began.

"Kate and I were put on a case a couple of days ago and the murderer turned out to be a serial killer. He was using my book, Heat Wave, to kinda….give him ideas. He called Kate multiple times and called her by the name of Nikki Heat, the girl in my book."

"The one you based off of Kate, right. Continue."

"Well..he started stalking Kate and was leaving behind messages at each crime scene. After all were collected, the message was 'Nikki will burn'. So..earlier today, we thought we finally caught the killer who commited suicide. Turn's out, it wasn't him. The real killer was creating a bomb. I called Kate multiple times but she didn't answer. I was outside of her apartment building when she picked up. I told her…"

"Ok. Just tell me what happened! Damn you writers and having to add every single detail! Just get to the point."

"Her apartment blew up. She was still inside."

The line went silent.

"Mr. Beckett?"

"So uh…she's dead?"

"Yes sir."

Silence.

"Thank you Mr. Castle. I appreciate the call. If you don't mind, I'm going to go back to sleep, so in the morning I can start funeral arrangements."

"Of course. I am very sorry for your loss."

"You too. Bye."

And with that, the line went dead.

_"Is it me, or did he seem like he didn't care about his only child's death?" _he thought to himself.

"Castle!" he heard Agent Shaw call.

He turned around.

"Time to head back to the precinct."

"You mean…I'm aloud?"

"Of course. Now lets go. We have a murderer to catch!"

***

**_Shall I continue? Yes? No? Please let me know. Review!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: Thank you guys soooo much for the reviews on the last chapter. I was really happy when I opened my email and saw all kinds of favorite story/favorite author, story alerts/author alerts and the reviews. Keep them coming. I have a really good feeling about this story and think it has some real potential. So please, review if you think the same! Thanks!_**

***

Castle sat in the back seat of the black SUV. Agent Avery was in the passenger's, and Shaw was driving.

"I'm real sorry Castle." Avery spoke.

Castle nodded. He didn't want to talk. He was thinking about what could be going on. They wouldn't let him go in, they wouldn't let him see her body, and then the weird conversation with her dad? Things just didn't add up.

"Castle? You ok back there?" Agent Shaw asked.

"I'm…fine."

"How did the conversation with Beckett's father go?"

"Um, okay. He's going to begin funeral arrangements in the morning."

"Remember Castle, it's not your fault."

Castle ignored her and remained silent for the rest of the way there. A couple minutes later, they reached the precinct.

"We're here."

Castle stepped out of the back of the SUV.

"Ryan and Esposito are waiting inside. You want to go ahead in?" Shaw asked.

"Yeah. Sure."

He walked into the all familiar precinct, the place that had become his second home. He walked in, where officers and detectives were all gathered in a circle. He spotted Ryan and Esposito. Once he walked towards them, people began to clap.

"Whats going on?" Castle asked Ryan.

"You figured out it wasn't really Ben Conrad. You figured out the bomb was inside Becketts apartment."

"Yea but…I didn't save her! Shes still dead. I didn't do anything!"

"Yea but, thanks to you, we can find the real killer."

"I wouldn't want any recognition unless I saved her! And did I? No! So I don't deserve anything. It's my fault she's dead. I don't care what anyone say's. If I wouldn't have came into her life, this wouldn't have happened! Don't look at me as the hero. I'm not. If I was, she would be alive right now. So everybody, lets get back to work and catch the son of a bitch that killed Kate!"

Castle made quite a scene. Everybody watched him, listened to him, for the first time since he started his 'partnership' with Beckett. Once he was finished, people did what he said, and got back to work.

"Sorry Castle."

"Yea man, we're sorry." Ryan and Esposito apologized.

"Its fine guys. Just…lets not talk about it. Okay?"

"Agreed. Let's get this bastard."

"Where's Shaw and Avery?" Esposito asked.

"I don't know. They told me to come in here before them."

"Oh wait, there they are."

Castle turned around and saw Agent Shaw who had a very disappointed look on her face.

"Whats wrong?" he asked.

"The anthropologist confirmed. The bones were those of Beckett's."

Castle felt his knees buckle from under him. He fell. He was told they were Kate's, but now that it was actually confirmed, it hit him harder than he thought. Up until now, he thought that there was a possibility that she was alive. That some miracle could magically happen and the love of his life would be standing beside him once again. But that didn't happen. His life was falling down all around him.

"Castle, you ok?" Shaw asked, bending down to where he lay.

"I um…I…."

"Go home Castle."

"What? You just told me I could come here. I'm not leaving. I'm catching this bastard."

"You are not in the right frame of mind. We don't need you worrying and pacing around the precinct. Go home, rest up, come back in the morning."

Castle didn't want to accept this opportunity, but if he wanted to be helpful, he had to get some rest.

"Fine. But if anything, and I mean anything, happens, call me. Even if its something little. Call me."

"We will Castle."

They watched him walk out of the precinct. He called a cab and was on his way home.

***

"Dad! Your ok!" Alexis exclaimed, seeing her father walk into the living room at 3 in the morning.

She ran over and wrapped her arms around him.

"Is Detective Beckett okay?" she asked, looking up at him.

Castle didn't know how to tell her. Alexis had really formed a little bond with her. He didn't answer right away, and Alexis instantly knew something was wrong.

"Dad? Is she?"

Martha walked into the living room, hearing voices coming from downstairs.

"Ricky! Your ok!"

She ran over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, I was so worried about you! How's Kate?"

"I asked him the same question. He wouldn't answer me."

Castle backed out of the death hug Alexis had on him. He walked over to the couch and sat down, running his hands through his hair.

"Ricky? What happened?"

"Shes dead..isnt she?" Alexis asked.

Castle nodded, then began crying.

"Its all my fault. I got to her too late. By the time she picked up her phone, the only thing I had time to tell her was it wasn't Ben Conrad and the killer was still alive. And then…boom!"

Martha and Alexis went over and sat on both sides of him.

"Shes really dead. I cant…I…"

"I know sweetie. You loved her."

He looked up and stared blankly at his mother.

"Yes, I know. I could tell the way you talked about her and how much you cared for her. She was someone who truly made sense of your life, and I can tell how much you have changed since you first met her."

"Shes the only woman I have ever felt so strongly about. She was…amazing mother."

"I know, I know. I met her, just in case you didn't know that."

He laughed. "I'm sorry. I'm talking like you guys never even knew her before this happened."

"Its fine dad. And if it matters, I would've been honored for her to have been my mother."

He gave her a hug.

"Thanks pumpkin. Now if you would excuse me, I have to get some sleep in order to catch this bastard. Excuse me language."

He got up and walked up the steps to his bedroom. He knew he was going to have a hard time sleeping. He was going to be thinking about her and what their life could've been like. And he knew, it was going to kill him.

***

**_Any thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Please review!_**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Thanks for all the fantastic reviews! Hope you enjoy this chapter!_**

**_***_**

"_Castle, there is something I have to tell you. Its important." _

_"What is it Kate?" _

_She walked up and pressed her body to his. _

_"I've always found you…attractive." _

_"Really?" _

_"Oh yeah. Do you think I'm attractive?" _

_"Ohhhhh yeah. You're more than attractive. Your hot, smoking hot!" _

_She laughed. "Kiss me Castle." _

_"Are you sure? I mean…." _

_Before he could finish his babbling, Kate crushed her mouth to his. At first he didn't return the kiss, still dumbfounded that it was actually happening. But then, he grabbed a hold of her butt with one hand, and pulled her closer with his other. He heard the tiny moans she made. This…was heaven. They stopped when air became a necessity. They both panted. _

_"Wow." Castle said, trying to refill his lungs with oxygen, rather than carbon dioxide. _

_"That was…amazing." _

_She laughed. "Good night Castle." _

_"You sure you don't want me to spend the…." _

_Before he could finish his sentence, Kate slammed the door in his face. They both leaned up against the door, Beckett on the inside, Castle on the outside. Beckett rubbed her lips with her fingers. _

_"Hes better than people give him credit for." She whispered. _

_"Shes better than people would think she is." He whispered._

***

"_Kate! The killer's still alive! The killers still alive!" _

_She began to hear the beeping of the bomb. _

_"Castle, before it blows, theres something I have to tell you." _

_"Kate get out of there! Now!" _

_"Castle…I love y…." _

_The apartment went up in flames. _

_"KAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!" _

***

Castle woke up screaming, sweat pouring down his face. He panted heavily, trying to reassure himself it was a dream. He breathed, in and out. His lights flicked on and his daughter appeared.

"Dad? Are you ok? I heard you screaming."

He sighed. "Bad dream..sweetie. Go, back to sleep."

"Dad, its noon."

"Are you serious!"

He looked at the clock. 12:07.

"Shit!"

He jumped out of bed and began rummaging through his drawers trying to find something clean to wear.

"I have to get down to the precinct. Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"I thought I would let you sleep. You had a rough night last night."

"Any other day I would appreciate that but not when Kate's dead and theres still a killer on the loose."

"I'm sorry dad. I was just trying to let you get some rest."

He walked over to her, kissing her on the head.

"Thanks sweetie. That was really nice of you. Now, could you kinda…scoot out of the room while I change?"

She laughed. "Of course dad. My pleasure."

She turned around and walked out into the kitchen. Castle took a couple minutes to get changed, then walked to the kitchen, where he was greeted by his mother and daughter.

"Rough night kiddo?" Martha asked.

"Very. I'm going down to the precinct. Don't let anyone in. And if anyone calls for me, tell them to call my cell, or leave a message."

"We made breakfast!" Alexis yelled, as Castle walked out of the apartment.

"Darling, the only thing he's worried about right now is finding the psycho that killed Beckett. Don't take it offensively."

"I know. I'm worried about him though."

"Your father will be fine. Hes a strong man."

She wrapped her arms around her granddaughter.

"I'm glad you're here grandma."

"Me too sweetie. Me too."

***  
Castle walked into the precinct. Everything seemed normal. Except for the fact that he wouldn't find the one person who longed to see there. He spotted Ryan, Esposito, Avery, and Shaw, as he walked into the room that they were in.

"Hey guys. Sorry I'm late."

"Its fine Castle. You needed the rest."

"Find anything?"

"We went to the house where we found Ben Conrad. We found a secret hiding place in the closet. Looks like the guy that you and Beckett saw, was our guy dressed up as Ben Conrad. Right down to the beard and everything. The real Ben Conrad was either dead in the closet, or alive."

"Which means, if Ben Conrad was alive, chances are the real psycho shot him and placed the gun in his hand. And if he was dead, then he dragged Ben out of the closet, shot him again to make you think someone was shot, placed the gun in his hand, and hid in the closet just when you guys went in." Castle theorized.

"Exactly. But…how did you know that Ben Conrad wasn't our guy?"

"I was looking at the crime scene photos at my house when I remembered you saying the killer was left handed. Well the guy in the window shot himself with his right hand, which is almost near impossible. So I knew it had to be someone else. And I knew that the real bastard was putting together a bomb, and he wanted to make a big scene. Hence, blowing up Becketts apartment when she thought it was all over would be perfect. And…that's exactly what he did."

"Wow. I can see why Beckett kept you around. Very good Castle."

"So, who's our guy then?"

"We're still trying to figure that out."

The phone rang.

"I'll get it." Ryan said.

"Detective Ryan."

"Can I speak to Jameson Rook?"

Ryan looked over at Castle. That name sounded familiar. Where did he hear that name before? Oh right, Castles book. Which means, this must be the killer.

"Sure. May I ask who's calling?"

"A….friend."

Ryan put the phone to his chest and whispered "Castle, its for you."

Castle walked over and grabbed the phone.

"Castle speaking."

"Hello Jameson. Its nice to finally talk to you."

"I would say the same…if I knew who this was."

Castle motioned for them to trace the call.

"Um…lets just say…a fan."

Wait a minute, Castle knew that voice. It was the killer!

"Your smart asshole. Real smart."

"Now you know who I am? That must have been heart wrenching seeing your girlfriend being blown to pieces when you were trying to tell her what was going on."

"She wasn't my girlfriend. And what do you want now? Detective Beckett is dead. You can end your killing spree."

"Oh no Jamie. I'm just getting started."

"You don't have to do this."

"Oh, yes I do. Its…fun. And now that Nikki's dead, its time for Rook to die as well."

"Why does Rook have to die? Why not Raley? Or Ochoa?"

Ryan and Esposito gave him angry looks, noticing the name of their 'Heat Wave' equivalents.

"Everyone has to die! They'll have their chance, once you have yours."

"Whos going to die next?"

"Why don't you come and see for yourself?"

Castle heard 4 gunshots in the background.

"See you soon Jamie."

The line went dead.

"Got him. Central Park. Lets move!"

Castle sighed. First Kate, now him? This was going to be a long week.

***

**_You know what to do, please review!_**


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